Few have access to my real world - jan 09 Jan 4, 2009 9:14:29 GMT -5
Post by Runa on Jan 4, 2009 9:14:29 GMT -5
Bollywood's queen bee talks abt her close-knit inner circle and her karmic connection with friends
I am not very proud to admit this, but I am not a very trusting person. I wish I was, that would help me make friends easily and trust people sooner. but I am just not made that way.
Like they say we become what we are from our experiences. Perhaps, I have been hurt way too often in the past to let that happen again easily.
So if people think I am reserved they are right. I have my walls around me all the time and few people have an access to my real world.
this screening mechanism works for me, because I know I can blindly trust the few people I am close to. I know they will stay with me all my life. That’s what real friendship is about. I am someone who has the time or place for fair weather friends, who are in abundance especially in showbiz.
I admire people who put their feelings out there, and who can be open to pain, hurt and betrayal. I think it is beautiful in a way. But I just can’t deal with it, and tend to get cynical about these things. So it’s better for me to avoid it.
Two people whom I trust completely, and who love me unconditionally are my parents. My mom has pampered me all my life and I am like her little ‘boy’ even today. We are best of friends and share everything about our lives with each other.
If I am having a bad day at work or if she has to talk about a friend who has been mean or whatever, we can talk about it for hours and act as a sounding board to each other.
It was the same when I was growing up too — I don’t remember getting shouted at by my mom ever — even if I was upto mischief. She had her own way of making me realise my folly and I’d never repeat that mistake again.
She has never really interfered in my work and has left all the important decisions of my life to me. She says, "I have brought you up in a manner where you can tell between good and bad, and my job is done with that. it’s upto you to make your choices."
I think it’s so cool and I hope I have made her proud because a lot of times I used to do things to please her, to get a reaction out of her.
My dad is the finest man I have ever met. For me he is never wrong, and I don’t think he has ever been. he is a man of principles and sticks by them — sometimes it’s a tall order for me to live upto.
Most of my value system comes from him, and I feel truly blessed because he has set such high standards for both Raja, my brother, and me. He has taught us that there will be both failure and success in life. What’s important is you keep your head high no matter what. at the end of the day you have to live with yourself and your conscience. You can act in front of the camera but not in real life.
I was the one who used to bully Raja as a kid. Now that he’s married, I try and spare him the harassment but I think he still gets it from me, and that will never change. He has grown a lot over the years and made a name for himself, without ever asking me to do anything for him and I am very proud of that.
I guess I find it easier to make friends with my male co-stars and directors, because I get along well with them and they probably think I am one of them. However, our friendship has no professional implications whatsoever, and I think they understand and respect that.
Shah Rukh Khan is someone I can always count on. Same is the case with both Karan (Johar) and Salman (Khan). i have immense respect for Aamir. In fact, to be honest, I am even in awe of him.
Sanjay Leela Bhansali is one of the most intense human beings I have met. he is one person who can bring out the best in me —both personally and professionally. I think we have a karmic connection and I hope he’ll agree (laughs).
These are the few people in my life. They are my support system and my safety net. And they help me bounce back no matter what.
As told to Chaya S.